Rumspringa...My Tracy Anderson Transformation: Day 29: Sick of Level 3

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Day 29: Sick of Level 3

I am so glaaaaaad these levels change every 10 days, because seriously I am SICK of level 3. I feel like I was able to do more reps on day one of this level than I did today on day nine. The abs and arms are fine and fun. But I dread dread dread the legs work! It just exhausts me and the angles are so awkward on some of the moves that I feel like I can barely move. My legs feel so heavy when I'm doing the movements. Also, I noticed this level keeps your non-moving leg in the same position through all 6 or 7 leg exercises, and I think that must be part of why it is so exhausting. This level just feels too advanced for me. My body feels heavy and immobile, and unflexible. Blah!

I measured my waist at its heaviest during the day (after I've over eaten) and it actually has not grown, so at least I have some assurance in that regard that my eating is not overshadowing all the hard work I'm putting into my workouts. But man oh man, this level is relentless. I only have one more day left of it, and honestly I never want to see it again! I do not think I will be repeating levels as I had previously thought. I have faith that in time my abilities will increase and the dvd's will feel like they are at a more appropriate level for me. Sheeesh! I really don't like complaining so much, but I miss the good feelings of accomplishment i had in getting through the lower levels. Granted those levels were very challenging too, but they felt more doable.

It's rough because I feel like instead of getting stronger I'm getting worn out and therefore weaker.

I did step touching for my dance cardio today. I know that is what is best to give my knees and shins a break.

I'm thinking once level four starts, I'm gonna give it a go for 6 days a week. I'm just gonna try it and see how it goes. I think it'll help the 10 workout cycles go that much faster and plus I just want to make sure I'm doing enough with my workouts to make a difference.

I'm still moving on, still plugging away. I feel like I really need to make a difference in my eating. I felt sooo pudgy today and yesterday, all in my belly. And my skin! Ahhhhh! My skin is just so affected by my eating. It's amazing how many areas of my life and aspects of my body food affects. But yet, dealing with food issues also is so multi-faceted that it is just a huge undertaking. That is why it was important for me to split up food and exercise goals. I keep re-reading that line in my head that I wrote yesterday about how making massive overhauls in my eating DOES NOT WORK! It's a good thing it's in all caps so I can remember that. It reallllly does not work for me. I can tell you I made so many adjustments mentally in order to make exercising work for me for the first time in my life...I'm thinking that I need to apply that same mentality to adjusting my eating. I've got to make different decisions. I've got to approach it differently. Definitely with patience and kindness.

I did try two flavors of those kale chips btw, the ranch and the nacho. I would describle them as not bad in flavor. They were on sale so that was really exciting. I felt very full afterward which was nice because I think that means my body was satieted by the nutrients. I want to try more flavors though. I did come up with some another idea to replace chips, which is to use a baked potato. So for example whereas before I might want nachos, instead I'll put the cheese and chili on a baked potato, and that sounds equally as delicious if not more so! That was good news. Like I say, it is important to not overhaul my diet. My brain, my body, my physiology, these all need time to adapt. It does require faith and patience in the process though! I cannot even tell you what a lesson this is in faith and patience. I'm in the middle of it, so I can't honestly say that's a lesson I've yet learned. I can't yet say I feel my efforts have paid off. I can tell you I'm proud of myself for making it 29 days (6 weeks of working out). That is truly unprecedented. I'm proud of myself for being able to keep a food journal with honestly and without judgement. I'm proud of myself for never having given up. I'm proud of myself that I'm still going. I'm thankful that the stars aligned, and my brain aligned enough to keep me on the path. I'm just gonna keep going and hope and choose to believe that a year from now, or several months from now I will be writing in this blog about how funny it is to look back and see that all this struggling was part of the process, but that I didn't need to worry. I didn't need to feel impatient. Because ultimately, things will have turned out. Yeah, I really look forward to that day.

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What has Made This Time Different?

I have attempted to try to stick to an exercise routine so many times in my life, and yet I've rarely made it past a week or two at the most. This time has been a whole new experience, and this is a list of the reasons why (subject to change). Perhaps one or all of these will resonate with you too:

1) I have a simple, mental, visual analogy to help me focus on the bigger picture: In the past I've dieted and exercised and wondered why am I not losing weight? The key was that I wasn't consistent. The truth was that my efforts were sporadic rather than stacking one on top of the other. So it felt like I had exerted so much energy (which I had), but because it was not one foot in front of the other, my efforts did not stack up to any actual results. This made the most sense to me once I understood the the visual analogy of climbing a wall. My goal (lose weight/get fit) was to get over this wall. My attempts to get over the wall included climbing up (working out, dieting). However, I was constantly climbing back down the wall without realizing it (getting off the dieting, not exercising). Over time, I was exhausted from climbing up and didn't understand why I had not yet made it over, after all I had put in a lot of effort. It was then that I realized that every time I stop exercising, I am not picking up from where I left off the next time I start up again. Instead, I have to start from the very bottom of the wall. The steps up the wall do not help you climb over unless the are consistenly moving in a forward direction upward. While this may seem simple, and easy to understand intellectually, it was something I had to understand in the form of an epiphany. It was the first step to me being able to be consistent with my Tracy Anderson Method.

2) Make the goal about following through with the actions, rather than just focusing on the end results: Now that I understood that consistency was such an important factor in being successful with my goal, I had to figure out how to actually be consistent when I had never before been able to. It was so hard for me to imagine getting past level 1, because in my previous attempts I had learned how to do a few days of level 1, feel defeated, take a break, and then start over on level 1 again once I felt like I just couldn't take being overweight any more. My brain only understood how to stop and start over, so it just couldn't imagine what it felt like to move forward to L2-L9 and beyond. So, I made a commitment to myself that I did not even have to do the levels if I did not want to, but that I would play the videos every day as though I were doing them, just for the sake of my brain understanding what that would feel like. Amazingly enough, this triggered something in my brain so that it could at least entertain the possibility of experiencing the program beyond level 1.

3) Don't tell anyone I am learning to establish an exercise routine, until I'm on a roll. I understand using someone as an accountability buddy, and I do think that is helpful. But for me, I found that when I told people I was starting to exercise I diverted energy away from my goal (establish a regular exercise routine). So when I used to tell people, "oh I'm starting something new" people kindly wanted to know how it's going, how much I've lost, all these reasonable questions. For me, that added an extra pressure that I just didn't need. I didn't want to be accountable to anyone but myself, and I because I am someone who worries too much about what other people think, it just served me better to start the journey on my own and learn from my own experiences, learn to trust myself and my own instinct, and feel free to experiment without fearing judgements from others.

4) Don't make any changes to diet initially, but instead first focus on making exercise a regular part of my routine. Learning to exercise regularly and consistently & eating nutritiously are both lofty goals in and of themselves. To do both simultaneously has never ever worked for me. For my brain, my emotions, my inability to adapt to change, it was far too large an undertaking to attempt diet exercise simultaneously. For me, exercise is the easier place to start because it feels more in my control. There are only two choices (to exercise or not), and it is completely up to me, and not influenced by much else. On the other hand, food requires more preparation what with shopping, and storing and cooking, and taking food with me places. Exercise is just once a day whereas eating is something to work on multiple times throughout the day. Another thing is that if I attempted exercise and diet at the same time, if I did poorly in one area that day, it wiped out any good work I did in the other area (in my mind), and made me want to give up on BOTH. Exercise is the place to start for me.

5) Accept that my objectives are long-term and therefore no matter how hard I work, I will not be skinny in a month or two. But a year from now and for the rest of my life I will be.

6) Keep a blog or journal. For me, blogging has enabled me to see that some days are challenging, but there are also other days are easier. It is easy to forget the good days when I'm just focusing on the negative one at hand. Blogging allows me to go back and remember the positive things I've gained and learned along my journey.

7) Exercise with a buddy in the beginning to help make exercise a daily habit. While I didn't tell anyone about working out until about 2 weeks after I'd started, after that when I told my friend she was excited and wanted to try it out too. We exercised together for about two weeks, and that helped me establish a routine of exercising first thing in the morning consistenly.

8) Immerse myself in the success of others. I read others' blogs and success stories and facebook and the TA forum. www.masteringthemethod.com was such a great tool because it was the first visual I had to understand that this was going to be a journey and a process. It is so easy to see the "before" and "afters" and think that 1 week or a month of commiting will take me from before to after. Being able to see the "during" as well made such a difference to my brain because it was like the missing piece of the puzzle to understand this is not in any shape or form an overnight, overweek, or overmonth process. It showed me the bridge from "before" through "during" to "after".

9) Watch and re-watch and watch again Tracy's informercial and multiple visits to QVC. Especially the first month I watched them almost every day. Seeing the informercial is the pique of excitement in the beginning of a new exercise routine. Watching the infomercials help me remember the feelings I had in the beginnning and reminds me why I began this journey in the first place.

10) Trust Tracy, yourself, and those who have come before you, and have faith that while you can't imagine it today, each step you take will lead you to your after as it has for so many others.

11) Let go of being a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist prevented me from succeeding 100% of the other times I've attempted to exercise. It was vital to learn to only do whatever my personal abilites are and nothing more. Understanding and believing that I would build from wherever I was starting, as there is no need to exhaust myself physically and mentally by exercising beyond my capabilites was again instrumental. The very first time I tried metamorphosis, I was beyond defeated and in tears as there was no way I was gonna be able to do 40 reps of all the leg exercises as she did. I initially would pause the TV after every exercise attempting to complete 40 reps like Tracy was going. Helllllloooo, Tracy is in shape and she invented the method for goodness sake. I never exercised and was carrying around at least 50 pounds that didn't need to be there. Because I couldn't be "perfect" I thought I couldn't do the method. This was completely false. Finally, I figured out that I just had to do whatever reps I was able to do while she was doing the same exercise. Then when she moved on, I moved on to the next move. Suddenly my abilites were increasing, just by doing my personal best. It was the same thing with the cardio. It was important to me to play the whole tape, but that didn't mean I had to be jumping the whole time. Instead, I would step touch or march in place, drink some water. The point is that I got to experience what 30 minutes of cardio would feel like, and eventually be able to build up to it. I can now do an hour of cardio :)

...to be continued

Rumspringa...My Tracy Anderson Transformation

90 Day Metamorphosis with Tracy Anderson

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Day 29: Sick of Level 3

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